When Does Forgiveness Come?

For Agnes, forgiveness was a long time in coming. Agnes is a Christian widow, living in northern Nigeria. In 2004, her shop-keeper husband was caught in a religious riot in Kano. Muslim rioters entered his shop and shot him with arrows. Bleeding, with arrows hanging from his chest, he ran home. The mob chased him and broke down the door. He was killed in front of Agnes and his four kids, who were barely able to convince the mob not to kill them, too.

After the riot, Agnes stayed in the community. She had nowhere else to go. When she saw her husband’s attackers on the street, she crossed to the other side. She was able to move on with her life, but she still resented the men who had taken her husband away.

In January of this year, Agnes was invited to a prayer conference through The Voice of the Martyrs in Nigeria. She spent three days with several other widows and some trained facilitators. They listened to teachings on several subjects over the three days, including forgiveness. They also spent time in prayer every day.

While praying with a group of women on the second day, Agnes felt a nudging in her spirit. She realized she needed to forgive her husband’s killers all these years later. She prayed, “Father, I need to forgive. Help me to know how to do so.” As soon as she prayed, she felt a shift in her emotions. Suddenly, she had compassion for her persecutors, and she felt sorry for them.

Today, when she sees the men on the street, she doesn’t need to cross to the other side. She can walk by calmly and even offer a greeting. Her attitude has changed so much that she was able to forgive another man who stole from her. She was given a rooster to raise for an income, and a Muslim man stole the rooster, sold it, and donated the money for construction of a new mosque. But with her new-found compassion in Christ, Agnes can smile at the man when she sees him.

For some, forgiveness is a long process. For others, it’s quick. For Agnes, it took almost 10 years for her to reach forgiveness, but now that she has, it’s a practiced habit.

YOUR TURN: In the comments, share a time in your own life where you had to forgive someone. Was it a long process or did it happen instantly for you?