Over the last few months, I have written several posts sharing the testimonies and experiences of people who work at VOM or are visiting as guests. With this post, I’d like to share some of my personal thoughts and experiences, particularly the ones that led me to The Voice of the Martyrs.
Right after high school, I decided to attend a Christian University. I went to school with unrealistically high expectations for my school administration, faculty and fellow students. As is always the case with such hopes, they were let down and I consequently became burned-out.
Around my sophomore year, I graduated from a confused student to a professional cynic. I possessed a sharp mind and an equally sharp tongue, which I used to construct arguments against school policy, individuals, and main-stream Christianity. People rarely won arguments against me. I don’t doubt that many could have delivered me the highbrow-beating I so deserved, but they were likely wise enough to realize that they would waste their breath if they tried to change my mind. Consequently, I developed a superiority complex of sorts. Although I was able to fit my egocentric philosophy of intellectual elitism into Christianity for a time, I eventually started to question my faith and then drift away from it.
While relishing my time at the center of my own universe, I became familiar with The Voice of the Martyrs. Without exerting any intentional efforts, those who shared with me the story of persecuted Christians blew all of my misshapen notions about Christianity right out of the water. For example, at the time I believed most people chose to be Christians because the faith encouraged them to adhere to conservative economics which propagated a Darwinian “survival of the fittest” lifestyle. However, persecuted Christians embraced the opposite- they willfully gave things up for their faith.
The sacrifices of these Christians were significant in reshaping my thinking, because at the time I thought the offerings of most Christians were menial compared to those given by myself, a person who self-admittedly wanted nothing to do with the church. However, persecuted Christians weren’t just forfeiting their pocket change to charities and a few hours a week to a soup kitchen. Instead, they were willing to be beaten, stabbed, mocked, spit upon, raped, tortured killed and worse for something they believed in and Someone they loved. Once I saw just how much more a person could give, I stopped judging everyone else and turned the gun back on myself. As is always the case, once we fully realize how far we fall short (Romans 3:23), God begins to reshape our hearts.
After I learned that my high ideas and endless breath supply were useless (I Corinthians 13:1), I began to really experience the transforming power of the love of God. Actions that I performed but once begrudged, particularly those that involved serving others, became privileges. I realized my God-given passions and desires and I increasingly encountered opportunity to exercise them. My greatest opportunity for service came shortly after my graduation, when I was given the awesome chance to work for the persecuted church.
I have been at VOM for a little over seven months now. Through the examples of persecuted Christians, I am continuing to learn just how much more I can love both God and my neighbor. I’ll probably be learning this for the rest of my life. But as for now, I am extremely blessed to share the stories of those who have a joy they didn’t buy, a hope they didn’t get out of a textbook and a love that can never, ever be lost.
Wonderful and humble commentary, Jenn. God has brought you on a great journey.
Posted by: kendall | September 20, 2006 at 09:07 AM